Hello leaders! Today’s topic is very pertinent to being a
successful leader. We’ll take a look at practicing supportive communication.
In our reading this week, Whetten & Cameron (2011)
provided some guidelines that we can review. I’ll discuss opportunities that I
see to integrate supportive communication to a greater extent at my
organization, too.
Bear in mind that when times are good or the news to deliver
is good, most of us are very capable of practicing supportive communication.
When it comes to addressing sub-par performance or dealing with personality clashes,
maintaining a positive relationship can be a difficult job. The principles are
slanted more to the latter situation, but are definitely applicable in the good
times, too.
For starters, one must differentiate between coaching and
counseling situations. “In coaching, managers
pass along advice and information, or they set standards to help others improve
their work skills. In counseling, managers help others recognize and address
problems involving their level of understanding, emotions, or personalities. Thus,
coaching focuses on abilities, counseling on attitudes.” (Whetten &Cameron,
2011, p. 244)
Being congruent in your communication is a must. I would
posit that it is a goal to always strive for, while knowing that complete
congruence in communication at work will be nearly unattainable. Be truthful in
your message and its delivery. That doesn’t mean be “brutally honest” all the
time. People who communicate in that way all the time are generally voted off
the island before too long, no matter how “right” they may be.
The next two principles are closely linked. In describing
the situation you wish to discuss, use descriptive and problem oriented statements.
Said another way, “Get the emotion out of it.” Making an evaluative statement
or driving at the attributes of the person will touch emotional nerves and shut
down the aural pathways to the other person. They’ll be so busy coming up with
retorts they’ll stop listening.
Providing pertinent feedback to indicate that you are paying
attention and invested in the conversation is core to a meaningful conversation.
Get the cell phone muted, the computer screen blanked, and any other
distractions stowed. Provide validation and acknowledgement of the person’s uniqueness
and importance. Supportive listening is a skill that also must be practiced. It
takes effort to listen to the other person’s entire statement or position
without starting to formulate an answer before they are done talking. As soon
as you begin formulating an answer, you have stopped listening.
It is incumbent on us, as leaders, to realize we probably do
not have all of the information about the situation. Be open to learning during
these interactions. Be conscious of how much of the conversation each person is
contributing to and strive not to be dominant.
Tied into being descriptive and problem oriented, the need
to be specific is mandatory. I think how it would be if the roles were
reversed. In fact, I have had managers and teachers who would only say things
like, “What you did was incorrect.” That’s all I received for feedback. No
hints, clues, or other direction as to what I should work on. Statements like
that make for a massively frustrated employee or student. If there is data that
can be provided, bring it to the conversation. It may very well be that the
other person didn’t know their performance was below par because they have been
distracted by something else. Just seeing the data may be enough or it will at
least authenticate the need for the conversation.
The discussion should be fluid. Prepare ahead of time (when
at all possible) and ensure the topics flow. Jumping around different,
seemingly unrelated topics creates barriers to communication. Long pauses while
you are trying to put ideas together during the conversation also inhibit good
communication. Look like you thought about the issues and are not just
unloading on the person and trying to come up with more areas “they could
improve” while you have them in front of you.
Take ownership of your statements. You, the manager and
leader, want to help your employee. Use the pronoun “I” when stating your
observations and reactions. Deferring to “the company” or “we” puts artificial distance
between you and your employee.
The last of the principles we read about involves the use of
personal management interviews. These are scheduled time periods where the manager
and his or her direct reports. The meetings are one-on-one and should serve as
opportunities to improve communication. Practicing the other principles during
these meetings would be the ultimate goal.
Prior to seeing these principles in print, I was utilizing a
majority of them. I am glad to have had the opportunity to review them and to
see the various studies that verified the validity of putting them into
practice. The principles all require practice to be honed as skills and for
understanding where is best utilized.
Given the responsibilities and the privileges of the job I
currently have, I need to practice and demonstrate supportive communication
every day. I do not believe my team would enjoy the success it does if I had
been unsupportive in my communication to date. Are there times when I could do
a better job? Of course there have been. I know there will continue to be
opportunities to improve in the future, too. The bonus is having had this
review to iterate remaining focused on supporting my peoples’ communication.
Whetten,
D. A., & Cameron, K. S. (2011). Developing
Management Skills (E. Svendsen Ed. 8th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ:
Prentice Hall.
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