Welcome back, readers, to another entry of the Educated Leadership Blog!
This week we were given the chance to do some reflection on the “real person” we are…not the image we have of ourselves. We worked through a number of exercises (McKee, et al, 2008, pg. 109-137) that gave us opportunities to think about the experiences and people that made impacts upon our lives and capabilities. Additionally, we examined the social networks within which we operate and the various relationships that are now part of our lives.
Self-reflection and self-examination are not the easiest tasks. We have mental filters that keep us from seeing the parts of ourselves that are less than awesome. These filters act as protective devices, but at the same time blind us from issues that may be holding us back. Attempting to remove the filters and look is difficult because we all would like to think we have an excellent handle on what people really think about us and how we really fit in. Finding out that we aren’t as good (or great) as we’d thought is a tough pill to swallow. HOWEVER, if we look for opportunities to improve, instead of looking for reasons to be disappointed, we can turn the exercise into a positive experience.
Some of the exercises from previous chapters and weeks have been building to this set of questions. Additionally, I have had opportunities to not only look at my personal life path but to have others provide feedback to me about strengths and weaknesses they have observed in me. It is a scary, but rewarding, experience. The examples cited in our workbook included a story of a manager receiving feedback from a number of people with whom she worked (McKee, et al, 2008). The result was that the manager felt much better about her leadership style because she had an understanding of what her peers and co-workers liked and disliked about her style. I, too have had a “360” peer review done a couple of times. It’s nice to hear about things that you didn’t realize people noticed and/or appreciated about you. If the opportunity presents itself to you to get feedback in that manner, I suggest you do it.
The exercises from our book were designed to help us see the path through life we had taken to be to arrive at the place we currently find ourselves. We started by drawing up a timeline of major events in our lives, both personal and professional, that we felt impacted our lives. For me, much of my childhood was impacted by my mother having cancer. High school and college provided multiple situations and experiences that helped to form my personality and leadership style. In high school, my first jobs began and I learned more about leadership and business. College provided lessons in life, leadership, relationships, and what being an employee was about. Not long after college, my parents split up and my mother passed away. I got my first job as a pilot and a manager. The life lessons were coming fast and furious through the 1990s. People came into my life and show how to do things and how to act. I realized that my dreams entailed gaining a knowledge base that I couldn’t get on my own. I looked for people whom I could model and from which I could learn. When I listed the names of the people I felt had directly or indirectly impacted my life, I came up with over 60 people! I have little doubt that there were people in my life that provided assistance and/or lessons about which I never knew or realized. I would guess that well over 100 people have had a direct impact on making me who I am. I am a product of those people and my capability to synthesize that knowledge into a style. The difficult part is that many of these people are gone and I cannot tell them thank you. I have started telling people that I can contact how much I appreciate what they did for me. They have been surprised and appreciative that I did so.
The exercises also had us track the social groups of which we are a part. We looked at the interactions and rated whether they were resonant or dissonant. I feel like most of my relationships, personal and professional, are resonant. The relationships that feel dissonant to me are not lost causes. In fact, one of them is a new relationship at work and our organization’s success will be directly impacted if the relationship is dissonant! I will make every effort to connect and build a vision the two of us are aligned to achieving.
The roles I play in my life were also part of the examination process. As part of a diversity program, one also looks at the cultures and roles in which one is involved. It is not lost on me that my promotion to the executive level of management is now a role that carries a significant amount of weight. My role as father and step-father, along with husband have not changed in weight or importance, they are at the top of my personal roles. The executive role carries with it many preconceived notions for the employees that will work in my department, my direct report managers, my executive peers, and the executive leaders to whom I will report. There are expectations of communication, decision making, personality (to an extent), schedule, and commitment to the group, company, and community to which I must be cognizant. My actions and reactions will be watched and examined. Big shoes to fill, but I am looking forward to the challenge and to the success we have ahead.
As we near the end of this week’s entry, I’d like to talk about what I perceive as my strengths and weaknesses. I know I am a good listener and that I am inclusive. Additionally, I have the confidence in myself to make a decision while I have the capability to have confidence in others and let them make decisions. I am a teacher and work diligently to give people opportunities to learn. I am willing to accept that what I know is not always right. I can learn from others. I do not like conflict for conflict’s sake. I am patient, but not eternally patient. I dislike giving people bad news but know that it is a job that must be done.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know a recurring theme is that I am a work in progress. The exercises we did this week provided a good status check for me. I have made solid, positive progress in my development as a leader. I am proud of what I have accomplished. I am humbled and thankful for the help and lessons I have received along the way. At the same time, I have plenty of work left to do! There are lots of facets on this diamond in need of polish.
Until next week!
McKee, A., Boyatzis, R., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a Resonant Leader (First ed.). Boston, MA: Harvard Business Press.
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