October 2015
Welcome back, readers. This week we’ll look at experiences in my life that have had an impact on how I operate in organizational and team-based situations.
In general, I find I am drawn to team-type activities and opportunities. Maybe it’s because I played a lot of team sports growing up. Although, when I ran track, I found immense satisfaction in pushing myself to do better, not worrying about my teammates nearly as much. I loved playing hockey and football and learned many lessons about how a team is often only as good as its weakest player.
A situation of note would be the experience I had my sophomore year of high school. We had moved from Houston to the rather small town of Kerrville, TX just before I entered high school. I had a bit of a growth spurt during the summer after my freshman year and showed up for the start of football with new found running speed. The vast majority of kids on the team had been playing together since they were in the fifth grade. Not only had I just moved to their town, I only started playing football a year earlier. I had played hockey and baseball while growing up in Houston. All of the sudden there was this kid who got moved to quarterback and could really run and he wasn’t one of the hometown boys. I really thought my performance would help me fit in and gain more friends. I was shocked when I was treated as quite an outsider. My feelings were hurt and I learned a life lesson about group dynamics. My mother and my coaches were great guides and kicked my butt when necessary. I learned to turn those feelings into motivation. By my senior year, I had many friends, but none I still call on today.
My biggest takeaway from that experience, as I look back at it now, is that I learned to not let the crowd dictate my performance. I knew I wanted to be as good as I could be and I was willing to work hard for it. Through other times in my life, I have faced detractors and obstacles. I know the habits I started back in the early 1980s set the foundation for trusting in myself and working hard. I was one of three players to go on to play college football from my senior class. I am proud of that.
Years later, I was privileged to see Dr. Steve Robbins speak at a Boeing Diversity Summit in Anaheim, CA. Dr. Robbins studies the human brain and how it reacts to social interaction. One of the observations he made was that there are certain areas of the brain that show activity when one feels physical pain. He went on to reveal that he had seen a study his colleague performed that showed that the same parts of the brain show activity when one feels they are being left out of a group or isolated. He called that social pain. The human brain reacts to rejection and physical pain in the same way. Talk about a light going on in my head! I knew the pain of rejection and know I knew why we call it that. I’ll put a link to a YouTube of Dr. Robbins’ speech for 2013 below.
Another event that impacted the way I interact in group situations would be when I was on a hockey team that won the city title when I was 11. Through most of the season we had been mediocre, at best. I had struggled and “didn’t like” my coach. He liked to tell me I wasn’t trying hard enough and that he expected more of me. He didn’t mind barking at me and I was not used to that. Some background here: My mother had been diagnosed with what was characterized as terminal cancer when I was about two. She had fought through the disease and was as out of the woods as one could be in the mid-1970s medical world. However, I know my brother and I were quite spoiled by our remaining family members as they helped raise us during my mom’s illness. Having a coach tell me I wasn’t the greatest thing on ice and even belittle my efforts was a new situation for me. I remember complaining to my mom, who had been a very good athlete through her high school days, that the coach was being so hard on me. I’ll never forget her saying, “Well, you could go out there and try and shut him up, or you can continue to play like you are playing. Did you ever stop to think that maybe he sees potential in you?” Lightning bolt!
I went out and started listening instead of complaining. Lo and behold, I started getting better. I started having fun, too. I realized that all of us were having more fun. We came into the playoffs as the lowest placed team. Maybe we had a devil may care attitude, maybe we just didn’t feel the pressure. We worked our way through the gamut and ended up being the champions that year. I was lucky enough to win the top scorer title for my age group. I had more assists than I did goals and I was really proud of that.
The biggest thing I remember out of all that was the feeling of winning as a TEAM. Seeing people all rise up to grab the brass ring was awesome. We were a bit of a group of misfits…we had the only girl in the league on our team, we had one young man I remember that was terribly shy. His dad had passed away a few years earlier and hockey was where he felt comfortable. The rest of the team spanned the scale of skating and hockey capabilities. Didn’t matter, we got it done. I’m getting chills thinking about being in that locker room after the game. EPIC.
I am motivated, to this day, by seeing a group of people come together to do something greater that they thought they could. I love seeing people learn things they may not have expected they could or would. The rest of my athletic career would give me flashes of that feeling, but the drive to find it again has been a motivator. As I have progressed up the managerial ladder I have gone back to that well, the well of past group success, to guide me and center me. I use it to remind me of what great things my teams have the capability of doing and to keep myself focused on helping them find it.
Writing this has been a very rewarding exercise. I will tell you that I not only felt those chills again, I have teared up thinking back to my mother and coaches and their guidance…and them helping me find those successes. I am a very lucky man to have had them in my life.
Until next week!
Dr. Robbins is introduced just after the 22-minute mark. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOlDTu6zg0c
Michigan, U. o. (2013). 2013 Business & Finance MLK Convocation - Dr. Steve L. Robbins 01/21/13, YouTube.
No comments:
Post a Comment